# Jokes



## paracordist

I thought we should have a joke thread to express our humor and(jokes),I know myself and a lot of other people love a good joke.:approved:


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## J-Will

Good idea. CLEAN JOKES ONLY. This is a public forum. 

I'll start. 

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here”. Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungai!”


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## paracordist

The short guy says to the tall guy,how's the weather up there king kong,the tall guy says pretty good ,O and while your down there, next to my foot ,you might need to take that fat joke back before I cram my foot down your throat.


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## paracordist

I just made that one up,so it's probably Not that funny.


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## J-Will

A guy is cruising down the highway way over the speed limit. A cop pulls him over.
"Sorry officer, guess the speedometer got away from me. Happens every time I get hammered and try to drive home."
"What?! You're intoxicated?"
"Well, I needed a stiff drink after I shot that guy! It's okay though, I managed to fit the body in the trunk."
"Sir, keep your hands where I can see them. Give me your license and registration right now."
"Well I would but they're in the glove box, where I threw the gun; it's still pretty bloody and I don't want it to fall out until it's dried."
"Do. Not. Move. I'm calling for back-up."
So Back-up gets there. The second officer gets out, and says "Sir, please open your trunk."
The guy opens it. Clean as a whistle.
"Please show me your glove box."
The guy opens it. Clean as a whistle, along with his license and registration.
"I'll need you to take a breathalyzer."
The guy blows a .00
"What's going on? This officer said you had a dead body in the trunk, a bloody gun in the glove box, and were drunk."
The guy says "Hah, I bet he said I was speeding, too."


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